I stand in front of my closet, wondering what I will wear today. Hmm...not much going on; a doctor's appointment, a few errands...maybe just throw on my jeans— my standby uniform. Just then, I spotted that gold Kate Hewko bag I left on the floor yesterday...should I wear my new skirt? So different from what I'd normally wear, but the stylist had me try it on and I actually really loved it. She suggested some ways to wear it casually, like for a day like today. "Throw on a denim jacket and some combat boots...comfy but stylish for an errand day." she said. Well, I have a denim jacket and combat boots, so, like she said, I just put it on. Wow...this is really cute! I love it but… yikes, so different. Maybe I should just return it. What was I thinking? I'm a mature woman for God's sake. Okay, okay… I don't have time to change now. Just go with it. No one will see you anyway.
But, of course… Just as I rounded the corner of the hallway my neighbor got out of the elevator just as I was stepping in. She glanced at me and said hi with a smile as she looked me up and down and nodded her head. Wait- was that a smile? No, I'm pretty sure it was a smirk. She was probably thinking “what on earth is that lady wearing?” Oh God… what was I thinking by buying this skirt. Okay. Just get to your appointment and then come back home to change. I’m going to return this darn thing!
I get to the doctor’s office and walk in… I feel so self conscious. I'm sure EVERYONE is staring at me, but as I look around the waiting area, there are only 2 other patients— both scrolling their phones. After I check in with the receptionist, I can feel her eyes follow me to my seat. She continues to glance my way and I feel myself shrink back further into the cold plastic chairs. Oh my god, please stop staring at me, I KNOW I look like I’m wearing my daughter’s skirt. After a few uncomfortable minutes sitting in the waiting room that felt increasingly tighter as time ticked by, the nurse finally called me into a room and told me the doctor will be in shortly. As she is leaving me in the check up room she stops and says, "I just had to tell you how great you look today. I LOVE that skirt..where did you get it?" I say, “Kate Hewko,” and she smiles knowingly and closes the door. I glance in the mirror to my right and take a moment to think back to when I bought this skirt. I bought it because I liked it. I bought it for me— and, dammit...I do look really good today. I should dress like this more often.
"You wouldn't speak this negatively to your friend.. why do you speak like that to yourself? Change your inner monologue. Wear what you like..dress for yourself. You be you...and the rest will follow." Christa Gravel, 64.